Orgasm as Orgasm

I believe that there can and should be more in sex than just Orgasm. Physical union provides an opportunity for deep spiritual and emotional connection, and good sex can be so good that it facilitates this. Personal spirituality, a desire to find intimacy, life-long marital commitment, a belief in monogamy, patience and friendship - these united can bring about the meeting of spiritual epiphany and physical orgasm, in the most monumental sex ever.

My friend Paul Nelson, a gifted youth leader, would often share at "True Love Waits" conferences we attended together that God makes sex "you wait until marriage for" better than any sex you can experience outside matrimony. Sounds good for the Christian side, but almost certainly not true (sorry Paul). There are sex professionals out there who really know about intercourse. They are really, really good at it. Over time, the epiphany connection during intercourse is bound to slip or get lost - thus second honeymoons and "make-up" sex - and orgasm rests alone. At this point, technique and performance really matter, and everyone (common grace), can learn how to perform better in bed than they currently are, if they determine that this is important.

Orgasm is a non-spiritual, explosive joy for many Christians. For Catholics, it has, historically, been a limbo sin redeemed by the chance of reproduction. The Apostle Paul encouraged married believers to have intercourse so they wouldn't "burn" with lust. I don't feel that this is Paul at his most inspired, but won't go overboard about 1 verse.

But if you begin in a system that restricts intercourse and orgasm to those who are married, it is easy to think that the issue is about sex, while it is really about obedience. Sex is good - damn good. Most people want and enjoy this activity, which has been created by God to bring us joy AND guarantee the continuation of our species. I don't understand the additional whys of abstinence and monogamy pounded at during Church youth gatherings. Sure, STDs and worse are out there, but the correct use of condoms provides protection against most disease and birth control of all kinds will usually prevent pregnancy, which bites a large hole in the rhetoric of the Abstinence movement.

I questions any movement that does anything that demeans sexual intimacy or discourages anyone from embracing this part of their life. To make it very clear, I think the Church needs to own the sex education of its children, and I strongly urge every Congregation to serve up the real deal. Accurate information about the hows, whys, whats, and wheres regarding intercourse and full disclosure about diseases and birth control. I think exposure to a spokesperson from Planned Parenthood to explain birth control options and availability; to volunteers from Crisis Pregnancy to help students understand support options for pregnant girls/women would be very helpful.

Church youth know most of this stuff already. This is not new to most of them. They must be thinking, "Are these guys going to try to scare us into purity?"

No scaring into choosing to wait to enjoy your sexuality in marriage; instead choosing to walk His walk, doing what He wants you to do. Got complaints? Take them up with Him. He only wants you to follow Him towards eternal and abundant life. He only wants everything good for you. Remember, He invented sex. He created your erogenous zones.

If Christians can get the young taught the right things about sex, maybe the married can enjoy it more, or, for many, at all. Thus arrives the Kama Sutra.

One more entry on this . . .