Over the Hill came Robertson, Falwell and Bakker

Not exactly the image that Dion presented in his song "Abraham, Martin and John," for these three Christian televangelists have done as much harm for Jesus' Church as the three statesmen did good for the United States.

It is not all these preachers' fault. TV is "cool" communication. It operates best when conveying images. It isn't an idea medium, rather a perception one. The evangelists had half a good message, but they slammed it raw and unapologetically into TV land, where many mocked its lack of polish and sophistication. If the message wasn't rejected, those presenting it were. They were prototypical Southern Baptists, with noticeable accents, puffy hair, shiny suits and patriotic giveaway brick-bract, straight from sweatshops in the backwoods of white Alabama.

Those who weren't opposed to an often legalistic message or put off by cultural flamboyance were soon mobilized against a political Christianity, which transformed the Republican Party. Barry Goldwater was scandalized by the moral imperialism of this strange alliance. Increasingly, this became the focus of the evangelists, creating a political gospel, mixing legitimate concerns with a mish-mash of patriotic pandering and historical misstatements.

The failures were underscored by the fact that these ministries were cash cows, unregulated for years by outside oversight. The lives of these men radiated wealth, and glimpses behind Oz's curtain only revealed that there was even more wealth there than imagined.

Yes. There are clean preachers out there. Billy Graham and Luis Palau come to mind. But for every Billy and Luis, there are 10 new players like Joel Osteen, whose inoffensive message and smooth style is set against questionable million dollar purchases and snits against the lack of luxury in prohibitively expensive leased planes by an contentious wife.

If there is a last word about this, let me be perfectly clear: if Jesus Christ came back today, He wouldn't be a televangelist. Take that to the bank.